The things I’m going to learn from in 2019
For me, before I can move forward and look at what I want to happen I have to look back. Reflection is really important because if we don’t reflect on what’s gone on how will we know where we want to go?
2019 was quite a big year for me to reflect on because it was a real mix. A lot happened and also nothing happened. It’s been a strange one. It’s another year where I’ve learnt a lot about myself and my business.
I read a fabulous email from brilliant coach Ray Dodd in my inbox last week, she was also reflecting on the year and reading her email I felt like I could have written it myself. There were so many similarities. I wondered whether this was actually what Ray had felt herself or whether she was telling me personally what I needed to read, some home truths in fact. It was that spooky. I felt like I was reading the wake up calls I needed but also it was drumming home what others had said to me for a long time. So thank you Ray for writing your email because it landed in my inbox at the right time.
I’ve seen lots of posts already 7 days into the New Year about the “New Year, New Me”, “My Best Nine” and so on. I thought I’d share the things I discovered and the things 2019 has taught me. I made a lot of mistakes in 2019, some of which had even carried themselves over from 2018 in fact – yep old habits take a while and if left without help they just get bigger and bigger and take over.
The thing about mistakes is that they’re not failings, they’re things to be learnt from and I am grateful for that.
1. I broke promises to myself
This is something my husband always always tells me not to do, the golden rule I should keep with myself and I didn’t do it. Several times over the last year I said “I will make sure I get out the house and do a class so I get fit”. “I’ll have a nice lunch”, “I won’t be a slave to my desk” Did I do any of those? Nope. I broke every single one.
2. Old corporate habits still die hard
I recognised that old corporate habits do indeed take time to shake. I am still working on that and what I realised most of all this year is that they won’t actually get better unless I make it happen. Saying you want to break free from a bad habit isn’t enough. Action is needed. I wasn’t taken action enough to break these habits. I was still being a slave to my desk, thinking I had to be there solidly between 9 and 2.30 to be working hard. Ridiculous. I wanted to work for myself for freedom, was I allowing myself any? Not a jot.
3. Chopped and changed too much
When I first launched this business I had a great time. I was in my element helping so many lovely fellow small business owners with such a variety of offerings. Having never been a business owner before I was then working out what worked for me, for clients and what didn’t. However, what happened was I was falling into a trap of doing this too much, chopping and changing trying to find the right fit. I’m all for tweaking, I’m all for developing and changing but for the right reasons and looking back mine wasn’t for the right reasons mine was because of some serious beliefs, or lack of.
4. Letting Comparison, Self Doubt and Lack of Belief take charge
These are huge barriers for me. I first noticed them appearing in early 2018 and they’ve since caused me a lot of problems. They’ve stopped me being consistent with what I was doing. They stopped me from showing up in the ways that feel right to me. These things caused me to chop and change, to go for things when I shouldn’t have, to switch when I should have stayed. I was living on a yo-yo. I didn’t quite realise the hold it was having over me until I sat down over Christmas and dissected it all. Shit.
5. Not living what I teach
I think we can all be guilty of this, especially in the service based business arena. It’s a trap that can so easily be fallen into. You can be so passionate about helping others, giving the right support they need and say the things that will help them, but what do you say to yourself? Nothing but negative and harmful words. I was doing this. I wasn’t treating myself like my best client. I was being so negative towards what I was doing and not being my best friend. I was starting to stop putting into practice what I help others to do. It was falling away like when the people disappear in Marvel’s Infinity War (not seen it do, if you don’t care to see it Google it 😉). Mostly because of what was happening in point 4. Damn it.
6. Who’s helping me?
I love helping people, I’m passionate about it, it’s why I have my business, why I do what I do. But, like I said above, when you focus so much on that, who helps you? I was drowning this year because I kept de-prioritising myself. Every single day. Not just in my business but at home too “I can’t do that because I’m not important, there’s more important things than me” – what the F was I saying? I would never ever want to hear a client talk that way about themselves. Just thinking of someone saying that to themselves makes my heart ache and I want to reach out and give a big cuddle. Yet I was doing this to myself. I know now more than ever, that I need help too and that’s okay. I can’t do all the things and I don’t want to either.
🥰 Reflect, Be Honest and most of all Kind 🥰
If you’re ready to start planning and thinking about this new year, this new decade ahead then I recommend the first step being reflection. To think about where you want to go, think about where you’ve been and what’s happened. Here’s some steps to guide you through.
- How did I feel in 2019?
- What worked for me in my business in 2019 and what didn’t?
- What would I change if I could?
- Did anything come up that didn’t before? If so what was it and the reasons why it did?
- What are 5 tips I would give to myself if I was a client, customer or friend?
Lordy, that’s a lot of learnings.
Yes it is and they’re pretty big ones aren’t they?
What I have also learnt is that things do take time. I won’t wake up tomorrow having learnt these lessons and be a “brand new me” and I don’t need to be. But what I do need to do and want to do is start taking action with what I’ve learnt.
Being a business owner and your own boss is a mammoth journey and I feel with a new mindset, a new set of priorities, a new set of beliefs and the right support system around me I can make 2020 a brand new start, for me and for my business.
What about you?
What have you learnt from in 2019 that can shape your 2020?
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